FAQ: Snowman Liberation Front

Why was the SLF formed?

Our organization is a grassroots coalition of individuals who joined in solidarity with oppressed snowmen or snowpeople (as feminist members of SLF like to say) throughout the globe. We believe that snowmen are people too.

When was the SLF formed?

In 2006, our founding member "Polar Bear" joined with several other concerned friends of snowmen, after witnessing an appalling display of violence against a snowman near a local highschool. "He was just minding his own business, when some disturbed young men took a hockey stick to the snowman's head. Everyone just stood around laughing! I took action grabbing the hockey stick and chased the offenders away shouting 'How about I lop off your heads you bastards'."

What is the purpose of the SLF?

While some of our members wanted to take a moderate route with an "Organization of Friends of Snowmen", we knew that a more militant approach was needed right away. This was especially true after the evil practice of snowman hunting developed in the USA and Canada. While we educate people of the rights of snowmen, we also take direct action in many forms.

Does the SLF espouse violence?

While we renounce killing in all forms, we believe that in defense of a snowman it is acceptable to punish snowman abusers and killers when we find them. Remember, it is not we who initiate this violence but rather it is the Antisnowmanists who provoke such necessary responses; these include sticking their tongues to cold poles, burying them in snow up to their heads to allow dogs to urinate on them, and if necessary the adminstration of an "icecycle of correction".

Do you really build snowmen over fire hydrants and other metal objects?

First, no one builds a snowman, they are created. Sure we have a part in their construction, but a building is built, and object is built. We just aid them in their creation. This is not just semantics since as human beings are created with the help of their parents, we to help give these noble creatures their form!

While not officially admitting it, some members may engage in this justified practice. Remember, if people leave them alone, they will leave you alone. If people want to kick a snowman, they may just break a toe. It's their fault, not ours.

How many member sof the SLF are there?

There is no official account due to concerns that such a list would endanger our members from militant snowman hunters and governments which condomn their practices.

Can I become a member of the SLF?

Yes, send us $5 and we will mail you an official membership card with your name indicating that you are a committed SLF member.

Where do I report someone abusing or engaging in Snowman Hunting?

While you may find this outragious, there currently are no countries in the world where such practices are banned. With the exception of the Netherlands, which is considering a ban, Snowman hunting is tolerated and even celebrated.

Consider in the USA, at Lake Superior State University, each year a snowman is burned to celebrate Spring! If you can stomach the brutality visit their snowman burning web site. Children and the senstive be warned; it is gruesome!

How can I teach people about tolerance for snowman?

It begins with education. We have identified several "snowman friendly" books and videos which will help children to identify with the personhood of snowmen.

Who created this web site?

While not officially claiming membership, James Love of Vernon, British Columbia Canada created this web site for the SLF. The views contained the the web site may or may not reflect the views of James Love. Those who wish to contact him may phone 250-542-0064 or email him.